The Wise Self
She is divine and
She is human
She is conceptual and
She is biological
She is in my bowels and
She is in loving words spoken to a friend
She is One clear voice and
She is a million collected voices
She is etherial and
She is physical
She is the space between one neuron to another and
She is the language between one soul and another
She appears as tightness in my throat, a reminder of words unspoken
She appears as tears on a yoga mat, processing what my mind is too feeble to
She appears as a phone call from a friend that says, "How are you, really?"
She appears as a knee injury, reminding me I can't run from from my problems
She appears as a vibration when I hear my daughter's name, an echo of her life that once existed in my own cells.
She is light in darkness
She is the way out
She is the life raft
She is me and
She is you and
She is God
She is the way we are made in "The Image"
She is everything we know already and
She is everything we need to learn
Authors Notes:
I have been trying to write this post from day one, and I still am not sure how to find the words to accurately express this idea.
When I am having a low day, there are a lot of thoughts that sort of float around in the air and just kind of hang there. They follow me around like a cloud of stench that only I can smell.
When I am having an episode, these thoughts become less like floating thought bubbles passively hanging around and more like wasps flying in my face so fast I can't make sense of anything.
These thoughts echo in my head. They yell. They spit. They are vicious. Sometimes they shriek and sometimes the whisper and hiss like a snake.
I used to believe these voices a lot more than I do now.
Over several years of therapy and mentorship I have started to learn the differences from these voices, and the voice of my Wise Self.
I have a lot of thoughts and ideas about my Wise Self that are represented in the poem above. I grew up with a Christian back-ground and from that back-ground I heard a lot of about people being "made in the image of God". God was everywhere and even lived in people. It didn't make a lot of sense as a kid, but we take things for face value as kids so I went with it. As an adult I learned a lot more about Truth and Love. I heard people talk about collective consciousness, the divinity in all of us, the inherent goodness of each person.
These are all big ideas and some people find them conflicting. I don't. I think they all get at the same idea, The Wise Self. I think everyone has a Wise Self. Everyone has in them a piece of pure love and light. Some of us are taught to mask it, to protect it. Some where along the way in this world we learn to hide it. We forget it. We lose it. But we can find it again.
Mine has saved me so many times. My Wise Self was very quiet and hard to hear at first. In fact, after years of suppressing her, she stopped talking at all. She would just show me truth through cues in my body. My therapist helped me learn to pause, ask questions of my Wise Self, and then listen.
My Wise Self first started showing up as tightness in my throat, a feeling of a sock being stuck in my mouth. She told me there was something I need to say, but wasn't saying.
Over the years and years of practice and therapy, I now have this amazing guiding light that gets me through the darkest of places. It's God, it's you, and it's me. It's the place where we connect.
This is the voice that now says, "That's not true, call someone to remind you what is" when my brain says my kids are better off without me.
This is the voice that now says, "You just need a good meal and a rest" when my brain is telling me I need to do more or else I'm worthless.
This is the voice that now says, "I love you and I've got you" when all feels lost.
This is the voice that can challenge those lurking thought bubbles with such authority!
This is the voice that calls for help when I am too weak to lift the phone.
I am alive today because of my Wise Self.
Because of all the loving people who have spoken to me in dark places.
Because of God.
She is human
She is conceptual and
She is biological
She is in my bowels and
She is in loving words spoken to a friend
She is One clear voice and
She is a million collected voices
She is etherial and
She is physical
She is the space between one neuron to another and
She is the language between one soul and another
She appears as tightness in my throat, a reminder of words unspoken
She appears as tears on a yoga mat, processing what my mind is too feeble to
She appears as a phone call from a friend that says, "How are you, really?"
She appears as a knee injury, reminding me I can't run from from my problems
She appears as a vibration when I hear my daughter's name, an echo of her life that once existed in my own cells.
She is light in darkness
She is the way out
She is the life raft
She is me and
She is you and
She is God
She is the way we are made in "The Image"
She is everything we know already and
She is everything we need to learn
Authors Notes:
I have been trying to write this post from day one, and I still am not sure how to find the words to accurately express this idea.
When I am having a low day, there are a lot of thoughts that sort of float around in the air and just kind of hang there. They follow me around like a cloud of stench that only I can smell.
When I am having an episode, these thoughts become less like floating thought bubbles passively hanging around and more like wasps flying in my face so fast I can't make sense of anything.
These thoughts echo in my head. They yell. They spit. They are vicious. Sometimes they shriek and sometimes the whisper and hiss like a snake.
I used to believe these voices a lot more than I do now.
Over several years of therapy and mentorship I have started to learn the differences from these voices, and the voice of my Wise Self.
I have a lot of thoughts and ideas about my Wise Self that are represented in the poem above. I grew up with a Christian back-ground and from that back-ground I heard a lot of about people being "made in the image of God". God was everywhere and even lived in people. It didn't make a lot of sense as a kid, but we take things for face value as kids so I went with it. As an adult I learned a lot more about Truth and Love. I heard people talk about collective consciousness, the divinity in all of us, the inherent goodness of each person.
These are all big ideas and some people find them conflicting. I don't. I think they all get at the same idea, The Wise Self. I think everyone has a Wise Self. Everyone has in them a piece of pure love and light. Some of us are taught to mask it, to protect it. Some where along the way in this world we learn to hide it. We forget it. We lose it. But we can find it again.
Mine has saved me so many times. My Wise Self was very quiet and hard to hear at first. In fact, after years of suppressing her, she stopped talking at all. She would just show me truth through cues in my body. My therapist helped me learn to pause, ask questions of my Wise Self, and then listen.
My Wise Self first started showing up as tightness in my throat, a feeling of a sock being stuck in my mouth. She told me there was something I need to say, but wasn't saying.
Over the years and years of practice and therapy, I now have this amazing guiding light that gets me through the darkest of places. It's God, it's you, and it's me. It's the place where we connect.
This is the voice that now says, "That's not true, call someone to remind you what is" when my brain says my kids are better off without me.
This is the voice that now says, "You just need a good meal and a rest" when my brain is telling me I need to do more or else I'm worthless.
This is the voice that now says, "I love you and I've got you" when all feels lost.
This is the voice that can challenge those lurking thought bubbles with such authority!
This is the voice that calls for help when I am too weak to lift the phone.
I am alive today because of my Wise Self.
Because of all the loving people who have spoken to me in dark places.
Because of God.
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