Dreams of Mayrah

I remember visiting the farm when you were just a whisper of a life

I remember day dreaming of you when we sat down for one of your grandma's glorious farmhouse breakfasts. 

Grandpa had gone to feed the cows, Daddy and Uncle had gone to play xbox. 

Grandma was washing dishes,

And I was dreaming of the sound of your pitter-pattering feet coming down the hall. 

I was dreaming of your messy blonde hair piled on top of your head. 

I was dreaming of the sleep you were wiping from your eyes. 

I was dreaming of your giggle echoing through the kitchen. 

I was dreaming of your muck boots over your pajamas helping grandpa with the farm chores. 

I was dreaming of farm-dog Hickory licking the syrup off of your face after breakfast. 

Your sister does these things. 

It's beautiful to see. 

She resembles you in so many ways. 

The messy hair

The rose-bud lips 

The cupids bow and squished button nose

The deep scowl you both got from Daddy 

She resembles you so much

Sometimes I wonder 

If I was dreaming of you 

Or if I was dreaming of her. 

My bones know it was you. 

They crack slightly when I see your sister do all the things you never got to. 

Maybe it's not that you never got to do them. 

Maybe I just I never saw you do them. 

Maybe there are cows in heaven. 

Maybe you feed them with Grandpa Vern. 

Maybe your feet pitter-patter down streets of gold. 

Maybe the angels wipe the sleep from your eyes. 

Maybe my childhood dog Sampson is the one licking your heavenly breakfast off your face. 

Maybe your aunt Mara combs your messy hair. 

Maybe your cousins giggle a chorus with you. 

I wish I could see it. 

I wish I could see you. 

Your little whisper of a life was so short and quiet. 

I wonder how your life sounds now.