Bed Sheets

Mom said to me on Wednesday
"I think about her every single day"
I feel like I should too
But I can't afford to

I am pulled in a million directions
Nothing demands presence like a toddler
That's what I have- a toddler
And an infant with wings

I can't think of her every day
The one with wings
She demands nothing now
The one who walks asks too much

Or maybe that is an excuse
The truth is I can't bear the weight if it
Her wings don't make her weigh any less
She is heavy in my soul

My sheets have threads
The same amount
When I count them
And when I don't

I breathe in the cotton
I feel the softness in them
The closeness of their weave
They envelop me in their folds

She is in my fibers
She is in my marrow
She is in every breath
If she is not in every thought

I go days, weeks, months
Without a thought of her
And then I'll wake up
Just to count the threads in my sheets